"I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
I’m only a man in a phony red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me, inside of me
Inside of me, yeah inside of me, inside of me..."
“Superman” by Five for Fighting
Each day, and the living of it, has to be a conscious creation in which discipline and order are relieved with some play and pure foolishness. - May Sarton
New Hiv+ member looking for... Have been trying to find sites for Poz people to meet, but havent found them, if you know of some please send to me. Dont want to be isolated. Just found out on Monday, it has been a long week. Looking forward to making some new friends... from the POZMEN YaHoo Group
"This recent posting struck a chord in me on several measures and I wanted to get some feedback, especially from the long term residents of the HIVe...
- Welcome to the group. I will attest that this group is where you can definitely find what you're looking for!
- There are several other groups that may be of interest to you as well and can be located by doing a search for HIV/AIDS on the YaHoo Groups home page.
- I was in my 20's and just coming out when AIDS first hit this Country. Tested positive in October of 1991, confided in a manager at work and was out of a job within a week. I've been on Disability since late 1993 and MediCare/MedicAid since 1995. Bulk of my work experience is in Food Services/Catering and Event Planning.
- Many of the friends I made and hung with have passed.
- Ky. ADAP has paid for all my AIDS drugs since day 1.
- My monthly SSDI Benefit is $696.00 and I get $10.00 in Food Stamps.
- I can't help but wonder if the job market has become as HIV-friendly as it's being made out to be? Or if the easier and more discreet medication schedules allow for selective disclosures?
- What are the current health insurance options for the newly infected??
- Are you aware that if you do qualify for SSDI there is then a two year waiting period before you are eligible for MediCare Benefits??
- Have the twenty-somethings that are now testing POZ even begun paying into a future or retirement/disability plan??
- Has it really become 'CHIC' to be POZ??
- The Face of AIDS that we Americans see most often in this 21st year are from across the oceans, far removed from our own cities and neighborhoods. Perhaps it is because this new group of infectees haven't seen the death, stigma and discrimination that we once did that HIV has become no big deal???
Just wondering, as Dr. Phil would say: "What were you thinking?"
I am also a recipient of HUD Housing Assistance in the form of a "Housing Choice Voucher" which is now replacing the old Section 8 Certificates. I pay $88.00 on a $335.00, 1 Bdrm, non-equipped (no stove/refrigerator provided-which is also unusual) kitchen unit where all the utilities are separated out and I am responsible for (including water & sanitation which is unusual). My gas & electric is even billed at $72.00/mo and I get a quarterly bill for water & sanitation (I've not yet received my first one). My SSDI is $696.00 monthly. I have been on Disability and qualified for Section 8 since '93. This is my fourth attempt to make a "Home" in a HUD qualified apartment. This is the reason I noticed and joined this group. I am wondering what other peoples experience with HUD/Section 8 has been. Mine has been a real learning experience and quite stressful at times and I've found that Low-Income Housing comes with stigma and discrimination all its own. At least it does here in Northern Kentucky:
- In most cities here, only HUD Assisted units are subject to any kind of inspection for Housing Quality Standards. Therefore, there is great reluctance from many landlords to accept HUD vouchers in order to escape the inspection and keep housing authorities out of their properties.
- Myths & misconceptions abound in regard to how the program operates, who qualifies, what the HQ Standards are, what the Fair Market rent rates are, what landlords can charge, etc...
- In Covington where I live, the Housing Authority is more concerned about the outer facade/appearance and the elimination of "blight", than they are about the inside quality and the ethics of landlords.
- The state has decent Landlord-Tenant laws which have been adopted by the local cities, but enforcement is non-existent unless you have the resources to pursue a bad landlord through the local courts.
HUD is another well-intentioned and workable federal program that is screwed up by the mis-guided policies and intentions of the local administrations/Housing Authorities. I've been writing about and urging reforms for several years now. Would be interested in hearing about others experiences. Thanks!
"Howdy!
Thanks for mentioning how sk(r)ewed the system is against single adults - especially males!
My first section 8 apartment and experience ended after I'd invested almost four years into making my "HOME" there. It was there that my friends Sande and Mark gave me Moses. I made an agreement with the landlord that I would take over doing all the yardwork/landscaping around the place in exchange for him allowing me to have Moses without any rent increase. This was a single family home that had been turned into a duplex (2-1 Bdrms) with off-street parking for 2, a yard, a back deck with a skyline view of Cincinnati...----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, August 22, 2002 4:00 PMSubject: Re: [Pozmen] Housing-HUD/Section 8Michael: Here comes part 2 of the story.
I am familiar with what you say about what is necessary to qualify for
benefits. In this case it is not mismanagement, it is deliberate. I
went to check several apartment complexes on their list and found empty
apartments. When I questioned this I was quietly told that these units
were for families and women with children only. They roll out the red
carpet for them. If you are a single person you might as well forget it.
I got the feeling that apts. don't even exist.A landlord who agrees to accept a voucher and the provisions of the program holds most of the cards in this regard! In exchange for that, many landlords who do take a voucher treat their tenants and properties like crap as long as they can get away with it.
I gardened, landscaped, cleaned all the dog droppings, decorated at Christmas, belonged to the Neighborhood Association and help start the neighborhood block-watch. I thought I had died already and gone to heaven! Along the way, however, I had dramatically improved the value of this rental property. It could possibly command mush higher rent than may be allowed by Section 8!
After an accidental fire in the unit (later attributed to faulty wiring by the remodeling contractor); I put my stuff in storage at and stayed with my parents and cleaned it all up while the repairs were to be made. The landlord then decided to try and blame me since I am a smoker, used the insurance to completely rehab the unit and then informed me that he would not be renewing my lease when the repairs were completed.
Eventually, he put it back on the market and tried to rent it for the fair market luxury rate. I believe it sat empty for well over six months!!!"
"I used to be afraid of dying, but I'm not anymore.
I'm more afraid of what happens to the people who live..."
from "And The Band Played On"
I'm more afraid of what happens to the people who live..."
from "And The Band Played On"
"The South Bank HIVe at Seminary Square"
Michael W. Connett
1043 Russell Street - Suite 1
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
According to UNAIDS estimates there were 37 million adults and 2.5 million children living with HIV at the end of 2003, and during the year 5 million new people became infected with the virus. Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35.
95% of the total number of people with HIV live in the developing world. But HIV still remains a threat to people of all ages and nationalities.
photo from www.greatercincinnatiglbtnews.com
Four large panels from the AIDS Quilt were displayed from January 12th to 16th at Simon Kenton High School in Independence, KY. The memorial display was organized by students from the school. At the opening ceremony, senior John Mains said, "We hope to bring awareness to our peers about the real danger of HIV infection which leads to AIDS deaths. A lot of youth look at AIDS as a disease that attacks only gays."
"I Never Expected to Live this Long..."
“Correct Principles are LIGHTHOUSES...They will not move, they are not odds, you cannot break them; We can only Break Ourselves against them.... These are self-evident principles, perhaps not yet habits. We already know them, but what is Common Sense is not Common Practice.”The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and
force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.Michael"You don't know how you met me, you don't know why
You can't turn around and say goodbye
All you know is when I'm with you, I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singin' Follow Me, everything is allright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave, I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me...."
Uncle Kracker "Follow Me"
The Garden of Life
I think I'd like to be remembered as a "Johnny Appleseed" of The South Bank; planting, tending and nurturing seeds of HOPE along my journeys path... But, unlike Johnny and more like Jerry Baker, I care for a very diverse selection of seeds and seedlings...
In this timely update, the best-selling author – and USA WEEKEND contributing editor – adapts his popular precepts for today’s tech-savvy reader. July 7-9, 2000 USA WEEKEND.“In my book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I laid out what I believe are the seven basic principles of effective living, based on such immutable qualities as responsibility, integrity, respect, mutual understanding, patience and purpose. These principles are as true today as they were in 1989, when 7 Habits was published.But technology has changed our world profoundly. Today we are under even more pressure in our professional and personal lives than we were a decade ago. I attribute this in part to technology, because it often has served to quicken the pace, and to separate us rather than bring us closer together.Technology can be a great tool to help us become more effective – in our work and our relationships. Remember this and you are already a step ahead: Technology is a good servant but a bad master.Now for the seven habits, revisited here to reflect the new challenges of life in a technological world:
1. BE PROACTIVE. Ask yourself, “ Are my actions based on self-chosen values or on my moods, feelings and circumstances?” We often feel we are victims of all the technology – e-mail, voice mail, pagers, faxes, cellular phones – that bombard us each day. We become slaves to technology and feel we must respond immediately without regard to the importance of the message.
Instead, the next time someone sends you e-mail or beeps you, consider how you can manage the technology in your life. Not many of us have the power to decree that we will no longer read e-mail messages at work and that everyone has to contact us by telephone or fax. But we can decide, for instance, that we will get our most important and creative work accomplished in the first two hours of each workday, then review and reply to e-mail messages later in the day. You also can let colleagues know you will not return their messages until a certain time each day. At home, discourage calls from the office and focus on your loved ones.
· “Habit 1- Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is accepting responsibility for our own behavior (past, present, and future) and making choices based on principles and values rather than on moods or circumstances. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to blame others. They do this by developing and using four unique human gifts – self-awareness, conscience, imagination, and independent will – and by taking an Inside-Out Approach to creating change. They resolve to be the creative force in their own lives, which is the most fundamental decision anyone ever makes.”2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND. Ask yourself, “What would I want written on my tombstone? Have I written a personal mission statement that provides meaning, purpose and direction to my life? Do my actions flow from my7 mission?” Many people decide they want to have not only a personal mission statement, but a family mission statement as well. Technology can help in formulating the statement by making it easier to communicate with relatives across the country by using e-mail or faxes. Soliciting feedback through e-mail is a great way to keep in touch, too. And families can use “instant messaging” to make communicating with one another quicker and easier.
· “Habit 2 – All things are created twice – first, mentally, second physically. Individuals, families, teams and organizations shape their own future by creating a mental vision and purpose for any project. They don’t just live day to day without a clear purpose of mind. They mentally identify and commit themselves to the principles, values, relationships, and purposes that matter most to them. A mission statement is the highest form of mental creation for an individual, a family, or an organization. It is the primary decision because it governs all other decisions. Creating a culture behind a shared mission, vision, and values is the essence of leadership.”3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST. Ask yourself, “Am I able to say no to the unimportant, no matter how urgent, and yes to the important?” Because the cell phone is ringing, and the e-mail subject field reads “URGENT”, we feel compelled to stop whatever we’re doing to respond. But often these interruptions are not related to what we are trying to accomplish, be it a work project or reviewing a child’s homework.
Technology can help organize our lives by giving us the tools to quickly schedule and keep up with our important commitments. For instance, hand-held electronic organizers make it possible to type in regular weekly meetings just once, and an alarm goes off when it’s time for appointments.
Overusing technology tools can become addictive. Playing computer games constantly or surfing the Net all night can result in burnout and difficulties with relationships. That’s when it’s wise to resist the lure of technology and begin to say yes to what’s important: Turn off the cell phone during family time; don’t open the e-mail just because it’s flashing.
· “Habit 3 – Putting first things first is the second or physical creation. It is organizing and executing around the mental creation (your purpose, vision, values, and most important priorities). Second things do not come first. First things do not come second. Individuals and organizations focus on what matters most, urgent or not. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.4. THINK WIN-WIN. Ask yourself, “Do I seek mutual benefit in all of my relationships?” Remember that technology makes communication more efficient – not necessarily more effective. To build a high-quality relationship, it’s important, if possible, to have face-to-face interaction first. Second best is talking by phone. Then, afterward, quicker ways of communicating are fine – such as exchanging e-mails or leaving a voice-mail message.
Technology can help us make “deposits”, or cause us to make “withdrawals”, in another person’s “emotional bank account”. A deposit would be keeping a promise, being kind and courteous, clarifying expectations, making apologies, being open to feedback and being loyal to those who are absent. If you are talking with someone on the telephone and your call-waiting feature keeps beeping and you continually interrupt the other to take calls, you are making a withdrawal: You are saying the person you’re talking with is not as important as the calls coming in.
On the other hand, sometimes leaving a detailed voice-mail message on your phone when you know you’ll be out is a deposit – it helps make callers’ lives easier.
· “Habit 4 – Thinking win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect in all interactions. It’s about thinking in terms of abundance – an ever-expanding pie,” a cornucopia of opportunity, wealth, and resources – rather than of scarcity and adversarial competition. It’s not thinking selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win). In our work and family life, members think interdependently – in terms of “we”, not “me”. Thinking win-win encourages conflict resolution and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial solutions. It’s sharing information, power, recognition, and rewards.”5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD. Ask yourself, “Do I avoid talking initially about my concerns and instead express my understanding of the other person and his or her point of view?” To listen effectively, you must use the same tools of communication. Being technologically savvy is a requirement in today’s workplace. If we are uncomfortable with technology and insist that everyone adapt to our out-dated ways of doing things, we cut ourselves off from others. If we’re techno-savvy, we should encourage others to learn.
Be adaptable, and realize that although technology has its limits, it is still possible to carry on a significant relationship without being face to face. After my father died in 1980, I decided I would call my mother every day. She died in 1990, and I missed very few days. Our communication was so constant, and we understood each other so well, that it made no difference whether we were talking by telephone or in person.
· “Habit 5 – When we listen with the intent to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true communication and relationship building. When others feel understood first, they feel affirmed and valued, defenses are lowered, and opportunities to speak openly and to be understood come much more naturally and easily. Seeking to understand takes kindness; seeking to be understood takes courage. Effectiveness lies in balancing the two.”6. SYNERGIZE. Ask yourself, “Do I seek and value opinions, viewpoints and perspectives from others to create solutions that are better than would have created on my own?” When people can’t get together in person to solve a problem, Web videoconferencing and instant messaging allow them to post messages back and forth and interact in real time. Also, families can develop and share creative ideas and work through issues using Internet sites such as myfamily.com, Ask yourself, “Do I seek and value opinions, viewpoints and perspectives from others to create solutions that are better than would have created on my own?” When people can’t get together in person to solve a problem, Web videoconferencing and instant messaging allow them to post messages back and forth and interact in real time. Also, families can develop and share creative ideas and work through issues using Internet sites such as myfamily.com, which offers families their own private, secure forums in which they can interact with one another, post events, share news and schedule appointments.
· “Habit 6 – Synergy is about producing a third alternative – not my way, not your way, but a third way that is better than either of us would come up with individually. It’s the fruit of mutual respect – of understanding and even celebrating one another’s differences in solving problems, seizing opportunities. Synergistic teams and families thrive on individual strengths so that the whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts. Such relationships and teams renounce defensive adversarialism (1+1=1/2). They don’t settle on compromise (1+1=1-1/2) or merely cooperation (1+1=2). They go for creative cooperation (1+1=3 or more).”7. SHARPEN THE SAW. Ask yourself, “Am I continually improving the physical, mental, spiritual and social dimensions of my life?” Overusing technology often means losing touch with nature, so regularly make time to step away from the computer and take a walk in the woods. Keep learning by enrolling in courses on how to use the Internet, or learn a new software program – even if you don’t immediately need it for your job, it could one day help you get you your next job. Inspirational quotations can be sent via e-mail to friends. Humanitarian and non-profit Web sites allow you, with just a click of the mouse, to nurture your own spirit by donating time, energy and resources
· “Habit 7 – Sharpening the saw is about constantly renewing ourselves in the four basic areas of life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. It’s the Habit that increases our capacity to live all other habits of effectiveness. For an organization, Habit 7 promotes vision, renewal, continuous improvement, safeguards against burnout and entropy, and puts the organization on a new upward growth path. For a family, it increases effectiveness through regular personal and family activities such as establishing traditions that nurture the spirit of family renewal.”
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain“PARADIGM: A Paradigm is the way each person sees the world, not necessarily the way it is in reality. It’s the map, not the territory. It’s our lens, through which we view everything, formed by our upbringing and cumulative experience and choices.”These definitions from the inside cover of“Living The 7 Habits – Stories of Courage and Inspiration”by Stephen R. Covey."FREEDOM-is just another word for,
NOTHIN' left to LOSE..." Janis Joplin
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