Happy Pride weekend! Let's all take a moment to remember the people who made all of the advances we've seen recently possible: from Harvey Milk to Matthew Shepherd to Edie Windsor and everyone in between, both famous and infamous, both known and unknown. Let's make THEM proud too.
"Michael honey, really listen to what people have to say and get ready to share gratitude or compassion in your own charming way. You hold the key to some amazing connections that you can make this week. Stay confident with a strong will as other people will see you for the powerful person you are. Being the kind of person you are you will find it very easy to fit in with others who are totally different from you. This is a promising day for good results in connection with your finances and goals you are aiming for..."
"...Since I’d already lost my job, which was the only thing of value that I had feared to lose, I became quite candid in discussing my situation with people I felt were interested and would be supportive. That included friends, family, doctors, lawyers, AVOC counselors and community leaders. Through this, as I mentioned before, I’ve discovered a lot about the myths and misconceptions about this disease. And again, while I was not surprised by those of the straight community, I was most surprised by those of the gay community. Most people believe that (Full-blown)AIDS = Death and, tragically, that is usually true. A great many also believe, as I once did, that being HIV positive = AIDS (which in turn = Death). That is simply not true, there is a big difference between the two. To understand this, consider the T-Cell Count which is a primary indicator of health in HIV infection. A normal, healthy count falls in the range of 900-1200, while a count of 250 or less is the norm when a person becomes sick, is diagnosed with AIDS and eventually dies. That leaves a range of about 250-900 where a person is below normal yet still healthy. The accumulated research now shows that being HIV positive is a condition similar to Diabetes and, as such, is classified as a Chronic, Controllable disease. The key to being controllable, however, is Early Detection and Intervention. And that, my friends, is the single most important reason why everyone should take the HIV test. Especially anyone who has ever engaged in what is now considered unsafe sex, even if it was years ago or not very often. This virus has been around a lot longer than we think and it only takes one contact to get it. Look at this as being as important as voting, if not more so, and apply the same slogan; “There’s no good excuse!”
And speaking of excuses, I’ve probably heard them all and even used a couple myself at this point. They include, but are not limited to, the following:
*I’m healthy, I have the usual little illnesses which I get over normally and have none of the major symptoms of AIDS.
*When I first came out years ago I had unsafe sexual encounters, but I was never a bed-hopping slut with multiple contacts or engaged in group or kinky sex.
*When AIDS hit here in 1985 and we became aware of it and learned about safer sex; we changed our behaviors.
*What if a couple gets tested and one is and one isn’t, what’ll happen to the relationship? Knowing isn’t worth the trouble it may cause.
*What about my job, my home, my friends and family? There’s too much that could be lost if I’m positive and it gets out.
*If I’ve got the virus I’m going to eventually get AIDS and die and there isn’t anything I can do about it, so there’s no reason to bother being tested.
However, many of these excuses are grounded in the myths and misconceptions about HIV and AIDS that many people still believe. If they would learn the truth, they would realize that there are things that can be done and much more to be gained than lost..." October 1991
"I’ve been asked to talk about the Denver Principles and their relevance today. The first question is, Why do we revisit the Denver Principles? It’s very simple, they’re the foundation of the People with HIV Self-Empowerment Movement. They show us how earlier activism influences our struggle today and what we can learn from that experience.
The Denver Principles are also the foundation of building a grass roots movement, one led by people with HIV, into a powerful voice. They also give us an opportunity to participate in the broader global movement towards the Greater Involvement of People Living with HIV and AIDS– greater and meaningful involvement, sometimes called GIPA.
Self-empowerment is what enables us to demand resources from government for treatment, care and prevention. Self-empowerment is what gives us the authority to speak to complex ethical considerations with research and treatment; like pre-exposure prophylaxis, the proposal to give HIV meds to those who are HIV negative but believed to be at high risk of acquiring HIV; or the “test and treat” proposals that we’ve been hearing so much about lately, that propose to test everybody and put virtually all of those who test positive on treatment, whether they need it or not.
Michael J. Kaplan, President and CEO, AIDS United: "Where the Hell Is Our Community?"
Where the hell is our community?
I've been reading And the Band Played On, and for some reason, it feels more like a commentary on today's news than a historical account of the discovery of AIDS. As I read about the emerging infections on both coasts, along with Kaposi's sarcoma and pneumonia leading to gay-related immune deficiency (GRID) -- eventually named acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) -- the pages reveal a disturbing struggle to get anyone to care about it, even the gay community, which was being hit so horribly hard.
Chapter 13, April 2, 1982: "[O]f the 300 cases in United States, 242 were gay or bisexual men, 30 were heterosexual men, 10 were heterosexual women, and 18 were men of unknown sexual orientation." Today, 31 years later, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that more than 1.1 million people are living with HIV and AIDS in the United States, and the vast majority are still gay men.
This month I was invited to participate in a meeting of more than a dozen federal legislators and a dozen leaders from the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) community. The meeting was to talk about the LGBTQ community's political priorities. I discovered that I was fully out of sync with my fellow national LGBTQ leaders. The conversation went something like this: Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), DOMA, DOMA, ENDA, immigration, DOMA, ENDA. Had I not been there, I truly believe that HIV would have never been mentioned at all.
Don't get me wrong: I believe that gay marriage, employment nondiscrimination and reforming immigration laws as they pertain to same-sex couples are worthy battles and should be priorities. But I'm heartbroken that HIV/AIDS has fallen off the gay radar. In fact, it hasn't mrely fallen off; it's been politely removed! It feels like it has been set aside because it requires conversations about more difficult topics, like sex, drugs and poverty, unlike the less-complicated message of love that is the cornerstone of the marriage talking points. We've de-sexed "gay" to win political wars about marriage and, as a result, abandoned confronting a sexually transmitted infection that is devastating our community.
In 2011, with an estimated 49,273 new HIV infections in the U.S., some 31,890 were among men who have sex with men, according to the CDC. In some major cities, CDC-funded research estimates that as many as 20 percent of all men who have sex with men are now HIV-positive. And if you break that down to race, I've heard it said that the chances of a young black man who has sex with men becoming HIV-positive before he is 50 is close to 1 in 2. Gay men are the only community that continues to see an increase in new infections. Where the hell is our community?
Chapter 15, 1982: "[Marcus] Conant ... had the knowhow and resources to conquer this disease ... We could win the fight, but nobody is willing to make the effort or even acknowledge there is a battle out there to be won." To be sure, years later, the battle became clear, and resources were mobilized. As infections spread to the more "valued" among us, like hemophiliacs, "innocent" children and heterosexuals, America took note. By 1990 the Ryan White Act was passed, and systems of care began to grow. But it wasn't until the last three years that the statement "we can win the fight" became true, at least in my opinion. Today, thanks to research funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), we know that early treatment can reduce sexual transmission by 96 percent. We know that if we truly scaled up testing, told every member of our community, "You need to know your status, and you need to be part of the solution," and helped those who are infected get into care, we could probably half the infections in no time.
But instead, our community has decided that we can live with this, I think. We can all take pills when it gets bad and manage as we need. Folks are living longer, treatments work, and, yes, I can still do my job, have sex and be loved. But let us not forget that the lifetime treatment cost is estimated to be over $350,000 per infection. Every day we are diverting billions from our own community to take care of that virus that we dare not stop. Let us not forget that 15,000 folks still die every year after living with an HIV-positive diagnosis. Each year 9,000 men who have sex with men who previously lived with HIV are now dead. We're losing more gay and bisexual men with HIV each year across the U.S than the average gay pride festival often dreams of pulling in.
Our community has decided to live with this, not talk about it, but live with it. Heads held high as we fight for gay marriage, employment nondiscrimination and so much more, but please, just please don't talk about sex, let alone AIDS! The thing is that we don't have to live with HIV. I mean some of us do -- I do -- but as a community, we can end this. We can all know our HIV status tomorrow, we can get into treatment, and we can be the ones who write the last chapter of this epidemic, the ones who finally stop the band from playing on and on. Of course we gay people deserve the same rights like marriage and employment nondiscrimination! Heck, I want that. But let's not kid ourselves: Some in our community will pick that monogamous relationship, but others will not. And the vast majority will not go "straight" to marriage, do not pass dating, but instead will become part of that growing pool of young gay men in major cities, that pool in which one in five is now infected.
We can live with this, but we don't have to. We can change it when our community as a whole says, "Not knowing your status is unacceptable," and, "Getting linked to care is as important as flying the rainbow flag." We can end this epidemic, but until our community talks about it, makes it a priority, says, "HIV is at the top of our agenda," I fear we will only see more generations of young gay men becoming infected. I fear that the band will indeed be playing on and on and on.
Where the hell is our community?
“Habit 5 – When we listen with the intent to
understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true
communication and relationship building.
When others feel understood first, they feel affirmed and valued,
defenses are lowered, and opportunities to speak openly and to be understood
come much more naturally and easily.
Seeking to understand takes kindness; seeking to be understood takes
courage. Effectiveness lies in balancing
the two.”
June 27, 2013
When dealing with people who seem very unaware, remember that everyone must find their own way to awakening.
You may be someone who understands the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on earth to love one another. To understand this is to be awakened to the true nature of the self, and it is a blessing. Nevertheless, people who just don’t get it are seemingly everywhere and, often, in positions of power. It can be frustrating and painful to watch them behave unconsciously. We all encounter individuals of this bent in our families, at work, and in all areas of public life. It is easy to find ourselves feeling intolerant of these people, wishing we could be free of them even though we know that separation from them is an illusion.
It helps sometimes to think of us all as different parts of one psyche. Just as within our own hearts and minds we have dark places that need healing, the heart and mind of the world has its dark places. The health of the whole organism depends upon the relative health of the individuals within it. We increase harmony when we hold onto the light, not allowing it to be darkened by judgment, anger, and fear about those who behave unconsciously. It’s easier to accomplish this if we don’t focus on the negative qualities of individuals and instead focus on how increasing our own light will increase the light of the overall picture.
When dealing with people who seem very unconscious, it helps to remember that every one must find their own way to awakening and that the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process. Holding them in the light of our own energy may be the best way to awaken theirs. At the same time, we are inspired by their example to look within and shed light on our own unconscious places, sacrificing the urge to judge and surrendering instead to humble self-inquiry.
